The characters of Marianne, Alex, Rosemary, Ra'das, and any other mentioned or appearing minor characters belong to me, though. Ask before using.

Notes
Although long-delayed, this story does fit into Marianne's sequence of stories. As those familiar with the timeline know, "Shifting Gears" is set between "Part of this World", where Mish is born, and "Mated Pairs", where Alex learns the truth about Marianne. I started writing it, got depressed, put it aside to work on other stuff, and am now only starting to get back to that period in Marianne's life.

I'm hoping that this story will cover all the references I made to events happening in this time frame. However, in the main, it seems to be dealing with the burgeoning relationship between Marianne and Alex, before things get serious.

Marianne sat down on her couch in a huff, looking at her slightly disorganized living room and debating whether or not she should tidy it up. Leaving it the way it was reminded her of the events of the past few days.

"What was I *thinking*?" she muttered angrily to herself. "I've always known that I was more human than Kimera. Why would I feel comfortable living up there, even temporarily?"

Still, it wasn't Ra'das fault. He'd done his best, and it wasn't his fault that she was just not cut out to live on-board ship. He struck her as someone who could pretty much handle anything, including solo-raising Michelle. It would probably be better for Michelle anyway, since she seemed firmly rooted on Earth, and Michelle's heritage was the stars. And Michelle wouldn't grow up with her phobias, her fears.

Or an Earth she couldn't really have. Marianne knew the signs. The Taelons weren't too thrilled at her family's continued presence on Earth. It might be only a matter of time before they had to leave.

Maybe she'd get lucky and it would never happen. Maybe she could live her life out on Earth like she wanted to, with a human mate and kids even more human than she was. Of course, with her luck, it wouldn't happen.

Looking around her still-messy living room, she sighed and went to her bedroom, where there was far less of a reminder of her brief foray into being Kimera. It was almost bedtime now, both aboard the ship and at her place. Sleep would free her from her worries. Maybe.

Somehow, she managed to sleep without dreams.

* * *

In the morning, there were messages from both of her parents that hadn't been there the night before. Dad's was probably having to do with her sudden abandonment of Ra'das and the Homeship, and, probably, mom's was because dad had called her up and asked her to talk to Marianne. Marianne didn't feel like talking to either of them, especially not her father. She probably had to, eventually, but the longer she could avoid it, the better.

Instead, she called up her workplace and let them know that she was back, or would be the next day. She could imagine the questions and inquiries, and they wouldn't be fun, but at least they would be less strenuous. After all, her co-workers didn't know her ancestry and couldn't condemn her for not trying hard enough to be what she was.

Leaving her parents' messages for later, she stumbled back to bed and wished for everything to go away.

* * *

The doorbell rang, and Marianne grouchily went to the door, hoping that it wasn't dad. Not that she'd toss her dad out or anything, but she really, really didn't want to talk to anyone with a drop of Kimera blood right now. Looking out, she saw a woman, her mom's age or so, standing on the doorstep. A woman that she didn't see very regularly, although they kept in touch.

Marianne opened the door. "Hi," she said, smiling weakly.

The woman smiled gently. "Hi, Marianne, it's been a while. How are you?"

"I've had better days. Want to come in? I've been out, haven't had time to shop-"

"I know," the other woman said. Marianne just looked at Melissa Park for a few seconds.

"Have you been trying to reach me? Or did mom or dad get anxious?"

Dr. Park shrugged. "I actually tried to reach you yesterday, since I'm in town for a conference. When I called your dad up a while ago to ask where you were, he asked me to check up on you. So, want to tell your Aunt Melissa about it?"

Marianne cracked a smile at that. "Come in. I can't promise I'll be great company, but it's good to see you."

* * *

After a little bit of general conversation, the topic drifted towards Marianne's family. Marianne had been dreading that, but at least Melissa was in no way, shape, or form related to her, except maybe in an informal adoptive sense. "So, you want to know why dad's so anxious?" she asked, knowing she wouldn't offend her friend.

"It probably would help if you told somebody, and I'm here."

Marianne smiled. "Thanks. Basically, I had a very nice, very short love affair with a Kimera named Ra'das, who would be in big trouble if the Taelons knew he'd come down here to woo me. As you can probably guess, I got pregnant, had the usual short pregnancy, and the usual fast-growing kid. And then Ra'das and I had a bit of an argument, in which I realized that I needed to get out of there while I figured out what I was. I thought I knew, but I didn't. So, I came home to think."

"Confusing your father in the process?" Melissa asked.

"Okay, I 'forgot' to inform Ra'das that I was going. I wasn't precisely in the mood to talk to him when I left. That's no doubt why dad's a bit anxious, but I need to calm down and sort things out for a few days before I can even think about going back, if that's what I decide. I discovered that there are some things that liked about that part of my ancestry, but there are also a few things that I don't like that I tend to slip into unconsciously because of that ancestry."

"It sounds like you have a plan. Do you want me to talk to your father for you?"

Marianne looked at her and nodded. "I'd like that very much. As it is, he's just too much of what's going on that I don't feel like I can. I wish I could, but I just can't."

Her guest reached out with her hands and caught Marianne's between them. "Don't worry. I've known your father since the day he was born. And he's been through some rough times as well, so I expect he'll understand."

"Thanks," Marianne said wholeheartedly. "I just need a few days, maybe a week, hopefully not more than two. When I feel ready to talk, I'll talk. Maybe even apologize to a few people."

"Do what you need to do. I think you'll be surprised on how much people understand."

Marianne smiled. "I hope so," she replied. "It would be good to have people understand."

* * *

Melissa Park's visit had left Marianne feeling considerably calmer. She trusted Melissa to keep her word and to tell her dad to give her some space. Maybe all she needed was to go back to work, remind herself of where she'd been, and then figure out where she was going from there.

Nobody could begrudge her a few days, could they?

She fumbled her teabag open. Probably they would. Why did they worry so? She could tell them that she was all right. Nothing worth making a fuss over. Of course, they'd only worry further. They always fussed and worried over this or that part of her behaviour.

Marianne shook her head. If there was only a way to stop them worrying. She wasn't worth the fuss.

Staring at the wall, she decided that going back to work and proving that she could function very well, thank you very much, should convince even the most sceptical observer that she was fine.

Then, if she felt like it, she'd go back to Ra'das and Michelle. She certainly wasn't going to go back because someone guilted her into it. She'd do the newest parts of her family no good that way.

Marianne sighed. Now, if she could only be this sure when things actually came up....

* * *

"Morning, Marianne," Alex said. The part-time receptionist was grinning cheerfully at her, and she couldn't help but smile back. He looked at her as if he was going to say something, but ultimately didn't.

"Morning, Alex," she responded, before sweeping into her office to put her things down. She probably had a bit of catchup to do, thanks to her unexpected trip to the Homeship that had left her without a plan to deal with office work.

But, as she reminded herself, for a few exhilarating moments, it had been worth it. It was one of the few chances one had for stepping completely beyond oneself and actually stepping completely into another's skin. Even sharing could not beat out a joining for the sheer exhilaration of the experience. Compared to a joining, a mating, a sharing was a mere shadow of what could be and so often wasn't.

Now if there was only no labor at the other end, no child to worry about abandoning... no Michelle to think about. Human women, for all their messy periods, could enjoy their own form of joining without the knowledge that a new life wouldn't come out of it. Marianne felt a brief pang of regret about missing that pleasure without obligation.

In that brief moment, those brief moments of joining, she'd known that Ra'das desired children... lots of children. And since she was the hybrid and he the Kimera, he'd certainly wouldn't be beyond trying to take up the traditional role of ruling the amount and spacing of children. It wasn't really a male dominant/female submissive thing, of course. If she'd been the male and he the female, she'd be expected to oblige in fathering the children that he'd ask for.

Which didn't make it any more fun to contemplate. Even if Ra'das didn't quite have her as a brood mare in mind, she'd been brought up in a society where no one partner had the right to absolutely rule over the other, even in just one sphere.

Well, he'd just have to do without her.

* * *

At first, the day had passed as normal, with the staff being extraordinarily patient about her disappearance, although she expected the questioning to start at any time. It wasn't as if she'd given a reason for her departure, and her rushed message was sure to have raised a few eyebrows.

Unfortunately, she hadn't the slightest idea what to say to them. None of them, even Alex, knew of her Kimera ancestry or the demands made upon her by her very own biology. Like that was so exciting. Perhaps a medical treatement of some kind? Even with medical practitioners, maybe that would get everybody's nose out of her affairs. And no doubt she'd need the privacy when one of her even nosier relatives showed up to demand explanations. She hoped Ra'das wouldn't try the same stunt again and come to interrogate her himself.

But then, she trusted Melissa to convince her father to give her breathing space. If there was anybody who wasn't mated to him but knew him, it was his personal physician.

Better to handle first things first and take care of her staff.