Author's Notes: My spelling of "Kimera" is probably weird, but then I think the more common spelling is too silly. Oh, and I don't follow the show's assertions that the Kimera are anthropologists - I can't reconcile that with what happened between them, the Taelons, and the Jaridians. Many thanks to Jen LeMaire, for she helped plot a lot of this out. (Considering she's the main reader for this series, she'd better! :)

Disconnected
by Selma McCrory
copyright 1999

Marianne unlocked the door to her mother's house. It was probably politer to ring the doorbell or something, but it was rather late and she didn't want to wake anybody up. She would just leave the presents and a note, and come back tomorrow. Dad was coming up for Christmas, and she wanted to get some things out of the way.

As she was unloading the presents, her mother came into the doorway, wearing a nightgown and a worried expression. "Marianne? I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow...."

Marianne looked closer. Her mother's expression may have been worried, but her eyes were kinda glassy. As if she-

Her suspicions were confirmed as her father came up behind her mother. Good thing she hadn't been planning to stay. "Uh, sorry, mom, dad," she managed, before dropping the presents and getting out of there.

* * *

"Huh? What?" Marianne mumbled. "Oh, the phone's ringing."

She managed to pick up the room's phone somehow and answered it. "'llo?"

"Morning, honey," her mother's voice came falsely cheerful over the line. "We've got a full day ahead of us. Why don't you come over and help?"

Help? More likely one of the family "talks". Still, it was probably better if she didn't start a family fight this morning. "'Kay, mom. I just got up, so it'll be a while before I get over there."

"I'll hold breakfast for you."

"Thanks, mom, bye," she said. She managed somehow to put the receiver back right. "Great."

Running a hand through her hair, she headed for the sink. How was she going to face up to her parents? She'd been in college when Ashley'd been conceived and born. It wasn't as if she didn't know that her parents had had sex. And it wasn't as if she didn't know that they had been discussing a third child.

Really weird for someone with Kimera DNA to be embarrassed about sex. After all, her ancestors had bred with everything under a couple of dozen suns, and even she felt the imperative to mate. Her adult half-siblings had made it into space the first instance they could to mate with the recently-revived Kimera. She was the only adult Kimera-Human hybrid not doing so.

Mate. Not have sex, make love, or anything like that. Marianne made a face. Mate seemed so primitive, but that's what her father and mother and everyone else she knew used. When you bonded to your partner and all sex led to reproduction, she guessed that mate was really the right word.

Maybe it was a good time to talk to her folks. Not out of anger, or out of embarrassment, but just to talk. She was her mother's age now, her mother's age when mom and dad had conceived her. Mom and dad had never married, but nobody could doubt that they were mates. Between them, they'd understand. And between them, maybe they could help her understand herself.

* * *

A yellow bundle collided into her as she opened the door. Marianne smiled as she helped her little sister, Ashley, up. Ashley was bundled up as if she was going outside. "Where are you out to, pipsqueak?" she asked fondly.

"To Rei's house!" her little sister replied. "Mom said that I could go and watch videos."

Marianne grinned. "So, out you go," she said, letting her sister out the door. "Have fun!"

Ashley giggled and gave her big sister a wave before hurrying down the block.

She turned around, still grinning, closing the door as she did so. The presents, she could see, were neatly stacked up by the tree. Her mother was standing nervously by the doorway, holding a towel and a wet cat. "Morning, honey."

"Morning, Mom," she replied. "Abner get out again?"

"This is Abner. Of course he got out," her mom replied, with a small smile. "Are you all right?"

"Last night was a bit... surprising, but yeah, I'm fine."

Her father came into the room at that point. He looked about the same age as her mother - he was only a year or so older than Marianne. Looks could be deceiving. He put a hand on her mom's shoulder, and the two of them exchanged glances. Marianne could almost feel the sexual energy emanating from the two of them. "You two didn't get around to mating last night."

"We were too worried about you," her mother replied. "Besides, as long as we don't wait too long, we're fine."

"It's okay," Marianne said. "I'm the one who forgot that you were discussing a mating. I should have waited until this morning to deliver the presents. Live and learn."

"Considering it'll be only the third time we've done it, what, 33 years I think, it's not something you have to worry about every day," her mom said, smiling.

"No, just gotta not walk in on you after 10 pm for the rest of the weekend," Marianne replied.

Her mom's smile widened. "That would probably be a good idea," she replied. She let the cat go, and stood up. "Well, I need to go and run some errands, so I'll let you two catch up."

Before Marianne could comment, or at least get the words out of her mouth, her mother had grabbed her purse and car keys and left. Marianne turned a bewildered look on her father. "What was that about?"

"She knows we have things to discuss," her father said calmly.

"I sincerely hope this isn't about walking in on you two just before you were about to mate," Marianne said nervously.

"No, don't worry about that. It does have a bit to do about mating, though. Sit down."

Marianne sat, bewildered, and waited for her father to continue.

"You know when I went out to visit family offplanet a few months back?" her dad asked.

"Yeah, I remember you bringing greetings from everyone, as if Nessa and Allie don't keep in touch..."

"One of the Kimera in the project wanted to talk to me... about you."

"'Bout me? Are they distressed?"

"I don't know. He asked me if you were unmated, and I said yes, you were. And then he expressed an interest in you. He wondered if I'd ask you to come up and meet him."

"You sure this isn't a matchmaking plot by Nessa?" Marianne asked.

Her father grinned. "I'm pretty sure it isn't. And it's not a desire to get all my kids up there. He was genuinely interested in you. Enough that he might defy restrictions and come here himself...."

Marianne gulped. "That interested, huh?"

"That interested."

"Oh, sheesh."

"Anyway, I promised that I'd tell you."

"Thanks, Dad. I'll think about it. I do have vacation coming up, although that destination might be a bit fun to explain...."

"Still being a bit choosy about who you tell, huh?"

Marianne smiled. "Just a bit."

"So, how are things otherwise?"

The two settled down and talked.

* * *

"So, did you and your dad talk about what you needed to?" Marianne's mom asked as Marianne attempted to help in the kitchen.

"Yeah, we did, Mom," Marianne said, trying for the third time to get a full cup of water.

"Good. I know when we were talking last night that he said that he had something to discuss with you, but he wouldn't tell me what."

"Yeah, we touched on *that*...." Marianne replied. She brought the water over to the cookie mixture and carefully poured it in.

"Good thing you're making the cookies," her mom said, sounding amused. "First date me and you dad had, I'm surprised that I didn't poison him or anything."

Marianne giggled. "He's still here, isn't he?"

"Despite my cooking, yes."

"Don't worry mom, it's not as bad as you think."

"I hope so."

* * *

Marianne sighed as she tossed her bags down in the bedroom of her apartment. Sure, she'd been happy to see her family and all, but this mating business was getting her down. Of course Ashley was too young to be worrying about some things, but between her parents' mating and her father's telling her about her potential Kimera mate, it seemed that mating was in the air.

It was a difficult thing to think about, mating. None of the human guys she'd gone out with were really anyone she'd consider a lasting bond with. And forget about the Kimera - she was going to mate a human. She couldn't imagine being tied to a partner less human than she was. She wondered if things would get easier once she was mated - her parents were close, and it was obvious that no matter what, they cared for each other. She remembered her mother sitting in the rocking chair they'd had forever (okay, so it was just before she was born), eyes closed, rocking gently with her hand over her stomach, mind obviously on Marianne's sibling-to-be.

She dropped down on the bed. What was she doing? Kimera mated. It was an instinct brought to every one, to seek out the unlike and mate with it. For hybrids, it was to either pass the genes on to the trade species or to mate back to the Kimera. The Taelons, she knew, would be very happy if she and all of her half-siblings would breed back to the Kimera and leave humankind free of their DNA. Or at least leave so few mating with the humans that it didn't really matter.

And she was a hybrid, no way to deny it, no matter how few knew of her true ancestry. Second-generation, to be sure, but still one that made the Taelons uncomfortable. Well, too bad. This one was going to leave her genes to humanity. Even if it really didn't matter.

Now, what to tell that Kimera? At least he probably wouldn't end up coming...

* * *

"Hi, Marianne," Alex said.

Marianne smiled as she saw the receptionist. "Hi, Alex. Been keeping busy?"

Alex, she knew, was working on a master's in linguistics. To help pay for his classes, he worked part-time at the office as one of the receptionists there. "Yeah... Next semester's an independent study in ET languages. I'm hoping to do research on the similarities between the Taelon and Kimera languages, and the impact those languages and cultures had on each other."

Marianne grinned. If she cared to dig into herself, she could probably tell him all about it. She spoke and read Kimera fluently - if she worked at it, she could understand Taelon as well. It was a Kimera trait that she'd inherited, along with her shakarava and other things.

She frowned. Like a desire to mate....

Alex picked up on it. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, just a lot on my mind lately."

"If you want to talk about it-"

She smiled again. "Thanks, but I just need a day off, that's all. I need a vacation from my vacation."

"Oh, you had *that* kind of vacation," Alex replied, laughing a little. "I know all about that."

"Thanks, anyway."

"Okay, you take care of yourself, you hear?"

"Don't I always?"

The receptionist grinned again and waved.

* * *

"Now, that's a nice guy," Marianne muttered. "Sweet, enthusiastic, not afraid of alien things.... Don't know if dating him is the wisest course of action, but if he turns out right, at least everybody would try to stop finding me a mate."

And it would take someone with at least a goodly amount of tolerance towards extra-terrestrial cultures and practices to be able to join with her without screaming and running for the hills. She couldn't dream of not being one both physically and mentally with her partner, but not everybody, she knew, could handle such a joining, even for the few moments it took for conception to occur.

She took out a teabag, one of her favorite herbals, and proceeded to heat up her tea. Like her mother, she wasn't particularly enamored about coffee, although sometimes she wondered if that was her own preference or if her mother's taste in drinks had something to do with it.

Smiling a little at that, she pulled up her messages. One was David, her friend at the blood bank, wondering if she didn't mind putting in some time helping with the latest drive. He'd never understood her reluctance to give blood, since she was healthy and seemingly normal, but she hadn't told him what she was and didn't expect to. She'd felt some guilt about not being able to donate, so she did a variety of volunteer jobs for them instead. Her favorite was the food and drink bar that the donors came to for their federally-mandated drinks. In some ways, they were refreshing after having to deal with kids and worried parents.

She zapped an ad for a timeshare - if she wanted a vacation, there were plenty of good places to go for that kind of thing on the web. 'Sides, if she wanted a home instead of a hotel room, she'd do the B&B route or Pasporta Servo.

Marianne had to run the third one twice, and then debated if it was someone's idea of a practical joke. But no, she knew all of her adult half-siblings, and the Kimera rolling off the man's tongue was too fluent to be a human researcher.

"I don't believe this," Marianne groaned. "He really did it."

Her dad hadn't mentioned the Kimera's name, but she knew that this was the right one. He said that he'd talked to her father, that he had come to Earth and taken a host so that they could talk.

"Ra'das," she muttered. "Well, my friend, you are in for some disappointment."

* * *

"Dr. Schultz, are you okay?" Alex said, taking a break in the staff room and pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Should you be going home?"

~Home is the last place I want to go right now,~ she thought. ~Dang it, could Dad not have shared my address?~

"No, I'll be okay," she replied, hoping that her smile did not seem false. "I'm just having one of those days. Or, actually, make it one of those months..."

"Yeah, I get the picture. Say, have you seen the new movie yet? Y'know, that action/adventure/romance one?"

"'Tears Block My Sight'? I've heard it got good reviews-"

The intercom beeped. "Dr. Schultz, you're being requested at Methodist for an emergency consultation-"

Marianne sighed. "Duty calls. Sorry."

"That's okay," Alex said.

Marianne hurried out of the room.

* * *

Marianne slowed down to turn into her driveway. She was late- the emergency consultation had taken *forever*. As she glanced towards her front porch, she was simultaneously happy and nervous to see him sitting by her door. The good side was that he hadn't broken into the house - the bad side was now she had to explain to her unwanted guest why she didn't want to join with him.

She wished there was some guide or something on how to get rid of Kimera who had the insane idea that there was a mutual joining in the future. She giggled a little at the idea - she kept picturing something like her aunt's Clifford's Guide to California Pottery, complete with pictures.

As she parked the car, she took a few deep breaths. Full Kimera tended to be really strange beings, even to her. Even if this one had likely taken on his host's mannerisms and idioms, the mind behind it all was alien. She just had to let the side of her that wasn't human come out - of course, not too much....

She went to the front door, dumping her stuff on the table on the way there, and opened it. Ra'das' host wasn't that bad to look at. He had medium-dark brown hair (with some obvious artificial highlights) and bluish-green eyes. Not much of a tan, but that was a minor detraction.

"You couldn't wait, could you?" she asked as he came inside.

"Your siblings said that you would be difficult in that regard, and that if I wanted to appeal to you, this was the best environment in which to do so."

"Is this how your host normally talks, or are you being formal?"

He smiled in response. "Both, I think. He is a doctoral student at a nearby university."

"You are aware that it probably would have been better if I'd come up there - the Taelons aren't very fond of us being on Earth."

"I believe that if I am discovered, my purpose here will encourage them to look the other way in this case."

~In other words, since your purpose here is to convince the only abstaining adult hybrid to mate the Kimera instead of the humans, and that's what they'd like too, there'll be nothing more than a diplomatic slap on the wrist.~

"You are still unpaired, are you not? I wasn't too late?"

Smiling as she heard his speech relaxing, she headed over to the living room, motioning for him to follow her. She didn't want to join, but that didn't mean that she didn't have to follow hospitality and courtesy rules. And she was raised not to be rude. "I haven't found anyone that I wanted to pair with yet, no." ~Although, with luck, I might find that Alex is compatible.~

"Good. I was afraid that you had paired after you had last talked with your siblings."

"No, as I said, I hadn't found anyone yet."

"Perhaps you've been looking among the wrong species. You haven't even looked for possible partners among the Kimera."

"That's true," she said, feeling that she was unable to deny that simple fact.

"Why haven't you?" he asked.

That would take some explaining, explanation that she wasn't sure she wanted to give because it sounded so - biased. For a hybrid, even a second-generation one, to tell a Kimera that their shared species was too alien for her - it wasn't going to be easy, that was for sure.

So, she didn't try to explain, opting instead to distract him and give herself time to think. "Why are you so interested in me?"

"Because you are Kimera, close enough to be considered part of us, and yet - you are more human than any of your siblings."

"That's because I didn't have a whole lot of choice in the matter when I was growing up," she replied. "It was either be human, or end up in some Taelon lab somewhere. I preferred to be free, so I also chose to be human."

"Yet, after the treaties were signed and the Taelons allowed all of you to freely be what you were, you didn't let it be known that you were a child of the Kimera. In fact, you have been involved heavily in human activities, and have had little to do with us."

~All right, I've been a bloody fuddy-duddy and turned my back when I could on parts of my heritage. Change the bloody subject!~ She thought at him, hoping against hope that he would do so.

He didn't. Instead he continued on blithely, "I sought you out here in the hopes that you were not totally opposed to a joining."

"I'm not, it's just that I've been more drawn towards humans," Marianne said. "Do you want something to eat?"

"No, thank you."

Desperate to get his mind off the subject, she tried something else. "So, what do you do, when you're not violating treaties?"

"Do- oh, you mean what is my occupation... I think that I would best be described as an anthropologist. I observe other species and their societies. I haven't done as much lately, but I'm hoping to continue as we continue to recover. My special interest is the medical practices of various species - that's what attracted me to you in the first place."

"Oh," Marianne breathed. "So, what have you discovered?"

"A lot of things. Some medical practices like your first aid are prevalent all over the galaxy in various forms - others vary widely according to the biology of different species. I can tell you some of my findings, some of the things I have observed about the similarities and differences in many species...."

"Please do," Marianne, fascinated despite herself.

So, her companion launched into his findings.

* * *

Some time later, she wasn't sure how much later, he stopped. She felt a wave of disappointment wash over her, as he was quite the storyteller. She'd definitely have to go back to where the Kimera were sometime and just travel with them a bit to experience the kinds of things Ra'das had been telling her about. Maybe she'd been controlling herself a little bit *too* much... she felt like she'd suppressed something in her that shouldn't have been.

"Why'd you stop?" she asked.

"I felt your fascination... you're leaking it all over the place... I was wondering, perhaps, if you'd like me to share some of my experiences directly? I would be happy to show you some of the stuff I've been talking about."

She realized that Ra'das was sounding formal all over again, as if he had suddenly gotten shy in her presence. She had to admit, a sharing wasn't a joining, and she did want to know more about him and his travels. Besides, she wanted him to feel more comfortable. And she knew what to expect... she'd been up once and she'd shared several times, all warm, pleasurable swappings of knowledge. "Sure, I'd love to know more about them... and you."

Ra'das blushed, and held his palm out. Her hand joined his, and suddenly, she was someplace else, with him mentally narrating some of what he'd seen over the centuries.

And, while he was doing that, she also got a sense of... him. Of who he was, and why he'd came. He hadn't come to join, although if she found him worthy, he certainly would be willing to join with her. He truly did find her fascinating....

What had she missed, while she was so busy suppressing that side of her? What had she given up in her quest to be a normal human, to barely acknowledge that side of her existed? A lot, she was beginning to suspect. All that time wasted, because she'd been so stubborn.

Perhaps sensing that her mind was someplace else, Ra'das ended the sharing, and just looked at her out of indecipherable eyes. He sat there, patiently, quietly, probably waiting for her to speak.

"I've been such an idiot," she said at last. "So blind to what I could be, if I hadn't been so afraid that I became disconnected from what I truly am...."

"For that, I can forgive you... the Taelons were always not very considerate."

Marianne giggled. "That's an understatement if I ever heard one."

She took his hands again, getting up, and starting to pull him with her. "What are you doing?" he asked, looking bewildered.

"Making up for lost time," she replied. "Not denying what I am anymore."

"While I would be most happy to join with you, aren't you taking things a little fast? Maybe not thinking things through?"

Marianne stopped for a moment. He was right, she had certainly made her decision at the spur of the moment... but he had to leave soon, and there was no time like the present. "No, I know what I'm doing. Trust me."

He sighed, letting her pull him up. She glanced around the room, checking for anything especially breakable, moving away from him to move one or two things to safer spots. Kimera matings tended to wreak havoc in rooms, that she knew.

"Shall we begin?" she asked. Ra'das joined palms with her, and she was swept away....

-end